It seems to me that the world holds a contest
and I’m the prize
(While also reminding me that I’m not a prize a fella would actually want if they didn’t have to legally take it)
It is understood that the world believes my prize value to be something in line with “a lifetime supply of Turtle Wax,” or an endless subscription to a magazine you don’t read
The contest is called, “Who is Laurie’s Real Dad?”
There are two contestants: Fred and Jim
For the record, neither Fred nor Jim agreed to be contestants either
but here we are
Jim, unbeknownst to him, created me
Fred, unbeknownst to him, raised Jim’s child as his own
People feel sorry for Fred. They think he was tricked into having a fabulous daughter that adored him and gave him two smart, beautiful granddaughters that adored him, too.
People don’t feel anything for Jim though I think they should feel sad for him
Jim missed a lifetime of love from his daughter and two granddaughters
When people hear my story, they like to participate in the contest they’ve created in their heads: “Fred is your Real Dad,” they declare, unasked
dismissing my two dads and me as a pesky non-issue
They must believe people are replaceable
This for that
A for B
Fred for Jim
You know, like when you suffer a miscarriage and people say, “It’s okay. You can try again next month.”
three branch tree 
I love your story. I love how you tell it.
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Thank you so
Much for sharing your story. I’m happy and proud to be related to you on your birth father’s side. Your research brought us together as DNA Mystery cousins, and possibly double cousins! I’ve had a few DNA matches with some adopted cousins, And I wish I could help solve their birth parent mysteries. Thanks again for all of your research and for adding me to your family tree!
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Beautifully said. Too many people like announce who someone’s “real” parents are. All of the people who took part in my life are “real.” Some of them conceived me, some of them raised me, all had a role and none of them are imaginary. And–you people who don’t know anyone involved and who have never been in this position–you do not have standing to make these pronouncements regardless.
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You are the prize! Your daughters are the grand prize.
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Boy, that’s the truth!
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hello Laurie
Yes people do say the most stupid things. My sister said ‘you have a father who raised you’. I guess that is supposed to mean something to me. It doesn’t.
My dad who raised me, did the most to make me feel unwanted. I often felt there was only my mother and me in our own family. My mother, dad, my half two siblings were in the other family. All one nice tidy unit. Where his children did not feel like Cinderella.
My friend said to me “oh you are misremembering about your dad”. No I am not I told her. My mother’s sister Isabel said “I don’t understand your father! Why does he treat you so badly” “you are a good kid”. I replied “because he hates me”. Now I get it. He did not have enough unconditional love for a child he did not create. Shame on him.
I never want to see either of them again. My mother, the betrayer and him well, just nothing. That is if there is a Heaven. They better steer clear of me.
I still don’t have DNA proof that Joseph is my father. I do believe he is the one though. Of the two brothers, he was the one in my mother’s circle. I don’t think it will ever be confirmed by science. I totally understand why that side does not want to do their DNA based on what happened to me.
Take Care Laurie
Marilyn
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I’m so sorry. Not having that DNA proof makes everything so much more difficult all around. I hope you’ve found ways to care for yourself in the midst of this. Wishing you peace, Laurie
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So this popped up in my 23andMe today. huh! There is your name. I searched your name but, 23andMe searching never works.
Marilyn Hunking
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